OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
