3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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