Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
