How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
