Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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