I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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