Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize