Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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