I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize