No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
