A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Green mimosas i think yes
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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