is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
