I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Randomize