She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
