how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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