Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
