I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
