I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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