I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
