i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
