I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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