It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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