Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
