did you get engaged???
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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