a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
