you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
