Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize