Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
