My room smells like vodka and shame
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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