just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
