he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
