I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
