She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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