Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
