Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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