Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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