they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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