I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize