You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
