would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
