It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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