We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
