Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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