Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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