Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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