They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
