I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize