yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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