her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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