cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my liver is dry heaving
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
