Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
