you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
