he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize