is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
