It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
