Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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