you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
