too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
