Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You pole danced in your parka.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
