I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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